“What is generating what we’re saying? What is generating what we’re doing? Is it a commitment to connection? Is it a commitment to peace? Is it a commitment to love and to caring and nurturing that’s guiding us? Or is it our commitment to being right and proving how wrong everything else is? Is it a commitment to being judgmental or is it a commitment to be open? We don’t realize that when we are choosing judgment and being right, it is actually a commitment. If I’m being judgmental, that means in that moment, I’m actually being committed to being judgmental. And that’s where it’s bringing that mindfulness and awareness back and saying, “Is this really what I’m committed to in the world?” Not so much. It might make me feel better in the moment. Those moments we’re feeling right feel really good. But I’m actually committed to making a difference in the world. I always tell people…If we are so right and our world isn’t further along, then the inquiry has to reflect back and say, “Well, where is the gap?” Every issue we face, whatever it is we care about, whatever it is that we’re passionate about…those issues are the symptom of the disease of disconnect. If we’re disconnected from people, we can create ridiculous laws that ostracize and create violence and fear amongst people. If we’re disconnected from the planet, we can destroy it without a thought. So therefore, if that’s the disease, the disease of disconnect, then anytime we want to work on the symptom, we work on it from a place of connection. If I want to solve a disconnect in the world, I can’t solve it being disconnected. And “being right” is a very sneaky way of being disconnected.”
-Julia Butterfly Hill
Let that sink in. If you’re like me, you may have to read (or listen to) it a few times…
I almost hesitated to share this quote. I am inspired by the words of Julia Hill and I also feel the use of the word commitment is a competitive word. To be committed is to be competitive as there is pressure involved and you’re tied or attached to something, which is actually what being right is all about – the pressure to win. I’m right, you’re wrong, and I win – it’s a competition. When I am talking about what I am truly for in my heart of hearts, it is not a commitment to being right, but rather a dedication to being connected. For me, being dedicated is different than being committed. Having a commitment to someone or something is more of an obligation or pressure. Dedication springs from the wholehearted inspiration and enthusiasm to do something with sincerity and devotion.
Every day we are exposed to an infinite amount of opinions and attitudes as to what is right or what is wrong. We spend energy on why the “other side” is wrong instead of coming together on where we agree. Even among people working together for the same change and in the same social justice movement, division exists on the “best” approach. There is more than one way to be an agent for change and peace in the world.
Have you heard of the saying, “divide and conquer” or “divide and rule?” This is a real thing that has been happening for thousands of years and is happening right now. When those that care deeply about creating a gentler and more compassionate world allow an argument to divide them, all their efforts are conquered, squashed, and defeated. This is how “they” win, by getting their opponents, those who are challenging the system, to fight among themselves. The division created out of “being right” is overwhelming. Are we really liking to contribute to more division?
Yoga rejects divide and conquer and says instead to unite and build an unprejudiced and compassionate world guided by morality and ethics (study Eight Limbs of Yoga, yamas and niyamas). Yoga is about connection. When I say connection, I mean plug into an intuitive, empathetic, and compassionate way of being. Connection is what is necessary to act and make choices on a day-to-day basis. Connection is essential in order to have a dialogue. When we are stuck in being right, a one-sided conversation is all we have. It is important to be aware of and listen to different perspectives. We don’t have to agree on all perspectives, but we are, at minimum, able to not allow those different perspectives divide us and create further separation and disconnection. Do we want to rule over others with our rightness or do we desire to see peace rule?
The path of yoga assists us in reconnecting and further developing our intuitive sense. As intuition develops, we gain more knowledge within about the ideal choices to make at any given moment. With each choice, we might ask, “What is generating my choice to say or do something? Is it my dedication to connection, love, and caring? Or, in this moment, am I committed to being right and judgmental toward others? Is this choice in line with my values? Is this who I really am?”
To be inquisitive and to ask questions is to be a yogi. It is to be human and a concerned citizen. Sincere inquiry is called upon to realize something at a deeper level or to understand opposing points of view. Asking questions assists with uncovering challenges and creating solutions. It plugs us into learning mode versus judgement mode. It is part of living a healthy life. It is how we learn and grow alongside those that think differently; and thinking differently is what we all do; not one of us thinks exactly the same and that is something to celebrate. Yoga, after all, is not about the thought control of others, but rather practicing having control over our own thoughts and seeing things from a place of equanimity.
From a place of equanimity, in any given choice, there is no right and wrong. Every choice simply is what it is. It is looking beyond right or wrong and asking, “Is this the life I choose?” or “Is this choice how I am liking to show up in the world? When we make a choice, understanding the consequences of that choice is vital. Choices and personal judgments are essentially one and the same; we make both based on our individual perceptions. We base our perceptions on personal experience, as well as whatever information we have access to while making the choice. Part of any yoga practice includes dedicating ourselves to a deep awareness of our choices and how to “show up” in the world. This requires taking the time to research, investigate, and realize the ramifications of our choices and actions, both today and in the future.
A choice is a decision to act as selected from infinite possibilities. When we make conscious choices that are guided by intuition, the steps that follow those decisions are naturally more connected (empathetic and compassionate). Perception is the way we think about or understand someone or something. When we lack understanding, our perceptions are “off” and there may be confusion as to which choice to make in regards to how to say or do something. Understanding things clearly allows us to make optimal decisions. Consider what you are doing and how you are educating yourself to better understand your world, the people in it, and how your choices impact fellow humans, animals, and the earth.
In the decision of how to act, we may look at the larger picture and consider the available choices while tapping into our intuition as a guide. Well-thought judgment and clear perception assists in making choices that create a state of union or connection. It’s important to understand that no single choice is good or bad, right or wrong. Good, bad, right, and wrong, are perceptions based on our understanding of a desired outcome. When we practice equanimous thinking, we make judgments for our own selves, but not for (or toward) others. This requires becoming acutely aware of the intention of each choice and its corresponding consequences.
I think about the arguments that I’ve gotten into with my husband over who left the garage door open or you didn’t tell me we have a wedding to go to this weekend. So much time wasted trying to prove who was right when it did not matter at all. You did this. I said that. It is exhausting and draining. Who left the garage door open, just shut it. Didn’t know there is a wedding to go to this weekend, you know now. It is what it is. There is so much precious energy wasted being right and as a result there is a loss of connection.
Connection is vital, both with these insignificant examples I shared (which is where the practice starts) and even more so when there is more depth to the conversation. Letting go of being right, does not mean to simply agree with another person, action, belief, etc. to avoid an argument. There is a lot of work to do in order to shift to a more compassionate world and part of that work is staying connected to one another. I don’t believe that telling someone they are “wrong” or what they may be doing is “bad” is going to create the change we are seeking. How many times have you changed or made a shift in your life as a result of someone yelling at you or telling you your wrongness?
When we started renovating World Peace Yoga fifteen years ago, a lot of time was put into researching, inquiring, and asking questions about the material options in order to determine what to use. From paint on the walls to sealer on the floor and yoga mats. Using non-toxic, environmentally friendly, and sustainable materials was a major consideration. We chose to use clay-based paint on the walls (no longer available through the company EarthPaint that we purchased from, but they do have other great options now), recycled blue-jean insulation inside the walls, Forest Stewardship Certified (FSC) wood for the sub-floor, unsealed cork flooring (as there was not a sealed option at the time that was environmentally-friendly; we sealed with NanoTech), FSC doors and wood trim, natural rubber yoga mats, cotton blankets, and more.
When renovating a building or a home, there are many choices. Are some choices right and other choices wrong? No. Whether someone chooses to use an eco-friendly product or not, it does not make that person right or wrong or good or bad. That being said, the choices we make each day do require investigation to more deeply understand the consequences of a particular choice so that we are able to determine, is this how I desire to show up in the world?
The conversation and education about eco-friendly materials were not as readily available as they are today. And even still, the bias of people in these industries and the general public often due to mainstream media still has a great influence over a choice such as this…of really all of our choices to some degree. This requires us to dig deep and look beyond the surface. When enough people start asking questions and look beyond the surface, the information becomes more and more available. The toxicity of formaldehyde used in building materials and other household products is now known. Recently, many companies have stopped using formaldehyde-based binders in fiberglass insulation due to the high levels of toxicity people are exposed to in production and the continued off-gasses once installed. This is one reason why we chose recycled blue-jean insulation for our walls.
Most yoga mats are still PVC-based. PVC contains chemical additives including phthalates, lead, cadmium, and/or organotins, which are toxic to human health and may leach out or evaporate into the air over time when your yoga mat starts to break down. When I make the choice to use a cork or natural rubber-based yoga mat over a PVC-based yoga mat, I don’t view it as a right or wrong choice. It is a choice that results in consequences that I see value in and that reduce suffering to fellow humans and our environment. Others may feel differently. Not everyone believes in climate change and the impact we as humans make when we choose to care for or pollute the planet. It is not my place to judge or alienate them for their beliefs or choices. Each day we do our best with the tools we have and what is possible and practical at any given time. No single individual or choice is perfect.
Choosing connection over being right is a practice of ahimsa, nonviolence. The practice of ahimsa includes unconditionally accepting and loving others. Accept, love, and give blessings to the bigot, the spousal abuser, and the people that work in companies that participate in mass pollution—as well as to your children, family, and friends. Accepting and loving others does not mean that we justify, condone, or accept harm toward fellow humans (or any living being) or the environment. While we strive to assist others in making kind and gentle choices, we accept and love them while also not condoning their behavior.
To live harmoniously in community in this incredibly beautiful diverse world, it is essential we learn to commune, connect, empathize, and make choices that lead to having real and welcoming conversations with each other. Choosing connection and compassion over rightness does not necessarily mean there is no conflict. This is not about looking to live in a world where everyone agrees, where no arguments are made for change, or where we are all the same. Rather, it about handling conflict in a way where we find healthy ways to compromise, encourage, disagree, and, ultimately, intuit and work together.
As the musician Michael Franti says, “Nobody right, nobody wrong.”
Tryin’ to make a point, or have the last word
But most the time people just tryin’ to be heard
They say you got to choose your side and, when it’s done
Nobody right, nobody wrong
It ended in a great big fight and, when it’s done
Nobody right, nobody wrong ????
But most the time people just tryin’ to be heard.
But most the time people just tryin’ to be heard.
But most the time people just tryin’ to be heard.
What is the call to action here? How are we able to participate in creating change in an effective way? I believe a start is to pause and listen – listen, truly listen. Hear what is being said. Educate yourself and be teachable. Dedicate yourself to connection and let go of your rightness.
The more we practice coming from a place of connection in our daily choices and interactions, the more effective we are in the conversations that must take place in order to bring an end to all forms of unnecessary violence and oppression in the world. We have to be dedicated to connection if we are interested in bringing an end to all forms of exploitation and discrimination based on skin color, national origin, age, sexual preference, gender, religion, species, and so on.
Take a pause for connection.
This is why yogic practices such as meditation are incredibly important. These practices remind us to pause.
Pause to relax.
Pause to reflect.
Pause to restore your inner strength.
Pause to realign with your values.
Pause to find sameness/similarity/commonality.
Pause to ask a question. Pause to be inquisitive.
Pause to listen.
Pause to keep going.
Pause to connect.
Sharing our commonalities is a form of celebration. When we are dedicated to connection and practice focusing on our similarities with others, rather than our differences, we create a kinder, gentler, and more caring world.
Anna Ferguson is the author of World Peace Yoga: Yoga for People Who Breathe, a book on yoga that inspires peace in action, developing intuition, deepening empathy, and expanding compassion. Connect with Anna via Instagram @annafergusonpeace or via Facebook or join her for a class online at worldpeaceyogaonline.com.
